So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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