The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
