I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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