I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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