just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize
