I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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