so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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