And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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