youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
