So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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