I am puke
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I think I sprained my soul last night
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
