We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
