You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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