4 words: hood of his car
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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