How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize