cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
