Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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