I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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