I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
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I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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