Kiss
Puke
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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