You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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