All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
