At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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