I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Gay?
German.
Pity.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
