I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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