i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
