I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
