My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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