I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
