I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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