Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
