also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
