I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize