sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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