Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Randomize
