Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
