I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Randomize
