he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize