the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
we're making bets on your personal life
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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