but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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