i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
