you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
