3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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