I wish I could punch you in the face.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
