eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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