If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
