im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
