I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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