someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize