Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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