yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
