this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
