Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
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We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
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I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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