hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize