A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
