its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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