Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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