Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
you win again, gameday.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
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