That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
